Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
