I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
