The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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