nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Randomize
