You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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