he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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