I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Well I just put wine in my tea
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
