I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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