Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
