What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
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