Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize