It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
