puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
