They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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