I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
