Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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