what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Randomize
