im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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