We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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