I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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