Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
