whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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