he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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