I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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