Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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