I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
