You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
