smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
you win again, gameday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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