Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize