Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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