I don't usually arrange sex via text message
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
