I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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