All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
