Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
