At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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