he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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