ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
