Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
