we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
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