I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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