We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
