..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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