yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
