But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
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