well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
love makes seman taste better
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
