Sponge bath it is.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
