I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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