i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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