Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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