Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
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