Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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