is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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