Your tits are I can't wait for
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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