i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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