Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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