honey bunches of taint.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
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