I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
