you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
