the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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