if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
