I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
